The Joys of Much Too Much by Bonnie Fuller

Author:Bonnie Fuller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2006-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

5

Check Your Lettuce

in the Coatroom:

How to Manage

Your Happily

Unbalanced Life

There Is No Such Thing as Balance

Please don’t tell me about how much better mothers have it in France or Sweden. I don’t live there and don’t plan on moving anytime soon.

To people who ask me, “How do you do it all?” I answer simply, “I don’t. There is no such thing as balance.”

Working mothers don’t balance, they juggle, like performers in a circus. But circuses are fun, and so is the unbalanced life, if you approach it in the proper spirit.

So how do I keep up with the big job, spend time with my family, and nourish my marriage? I focus. Some would say that I obsess. Well, what’s wrong with that?

Obsession Moves the World Forward

There is nothing wrong with being obsessive. What would have been accomplished in this world—medical breakthroughs, great inventions—without the power of obsession? The joys that both my work and family bring me fully justify the focus I place on each of them. There is nothing else I want to devote my time to. As far as I’m concerned, hobbies are overrated, as is that much-discussed condition known as “being well-rounded.”

You Can’t Be Great at Everything

Do what you’re best at in an obsessive way, and everything else will fall into place. I was criticized by one of my former bosses for not being computer-savvy, but in the meantime I took his magazine from a $15 million loss to a $15 million gain, a swing of $30 million in a year and a half. So what’s more important? Numbers talk. I have other skills that are more necessary to my work than computing. I can’t be creative staring at a screen all day. It just doesn’t work for me.

I also don’t have a problem with talking shop when not at work. I like to talk shop. A lot of people think you should leave the office behind when you leave work, but why? That’s what you’re interested in, so why not discuss it? There’s nothing better than gabbing with close colleagues (most of whom become good friends) about your mutual obsession—your work!

The Unbalanced Life Does Require

Sacrifices and Clear Priorities

There have been many articles and books, from Perfect Madness to I Don’t Know How She Does It, that talk about women who had high-powered jobs and promising careers and gave them up to move to suburbia and focus solely on raising their children. Trying to juggle babies and briefcases became overwhelming for these women. It was exhausting; it was frustrating; they were guilt-ridden. They felt they couldn’t do a good enough job as either a mother or an employee when they were trying to do both at once. So they quit work. But they were throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

The books and articles almost always applaud the choice to give up the career. However, for most women, this really isn’t a viable choice, because only a very small group of women have husbands wealthy enough to support them and their children with one paycheck.

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